Up close, the illusion fades

Recently, I was gazing across Mombasa’s Tudor Creek at twilight. Nyali Bridge was there in the distance, a perfect picture of twinkling lights. From here, the vehicles crossing the bridge were a pretty series of coloured beams, moving silently, like a movie watched on mute.

I had crossed that bridge earlier that day, and it was far from picture perfect. It was packed with ugly vehicles, many belching out their pollution. The Nyali end seemed to be in a perpetual traffic jam, surrounded by street traders and hawkers, a raucous cacophony of sound.

But at a distance, and in the darkness, the bridge was a shimmering delight.

Nairobi city, too, can look very attractive at night when cruising our new Expressway, or seen from the air. The skyline is pleasing, the greenery calming, the lack of traffic and noise tranquil. In that setting, our city can glow with allure. Up close, the truth sharpens its edges. We are brought up short by the prolonged mismanagement: the relentless and chaotic overbuilding, the brutal and reckless destruction of tree cover. Morning’s harsh light reveals crowded slums, eyes weary with strife and disillusionment, and sprawling concrete eating up the greenery.

Many things in life are thus: they look desirable and near-perfect from afar, only to reveal a more complicated, less glamorous truth up close. The surface may sparkle, but beneath it lie flaws, struggles, and complexities. Reality is always more challenging than the superficial glitter that draws the eye.

Take organizations. How many of us have wished to work for certain employers? From afar, they sparkle, making headlines and winning awards as the best places to work. If we swallow their promise, we believe they have vibrant, inclusive cultures overflowing with perks and positivity. Step inside for a period, and ask those who toil there, and you might hear a rather different story.

You may now gather stories about relentless, brutal pressure to deliver numbers. You might hear that the promises of personal growth are hollow, and promotions only go to a chosen few. You may realise that the much-touted sustainability initiatives are just window-dressing, a pantomime for the cameras. If you take your eyes away from the shine, you may note that the reality of every workday in every workplace involves grind, politics, and disillusionment. Many organizations are just people-chewing machines focused relentlessly on profit for the few.

But they know how to pose for the cameras.

Certain professions—such as a pilot, renowned doctor, or chief executive—are in the dreams of many. From afar they embody success and status, and seem prestigious and desirable. You have to go up close to see the reality of immense pressure, long hours, toll on family life. Every arena of endeavour has a heavy human cost associated with it.

Humans are experts at crafting illusions, even about their personal realities. Instagrammed lives seem ideal—radiant smiles, loving partners, exotic locations. But what doesn’t make it to the feed? The fractures in the relationships, the spiralling balance on the credit card, the many moments of despair. Those truths never appear in any selfie. Curated perfection hides the messy truth of being human: that we all have struggles, illnesses, lonelinesses, and heartbreaks. Careful filters and well-taken angles disguise many ugly realities. The truth about people is far more complex, far less perfect, and far more human.

The most accomplished humans seem to shine brightly, but the beam is very narrow. When viewed as a whole and up close, every human is full of insecurities, biases, and weaknesses. The genius harbours gnawing self-doubt; the celebrity hides dependency and mental illness; the affluent person is plagued by a burning need to have even more. We work hard to hide those vulnerabilities, but beneath the mask sit complexes that trouble us, blind spots that hinder us, resentments that consume us.

In a world full of optical illusions and perception delusions, the challenge is to look beyond the surface. We must train ourselves to recognize that the glittering facade often hides a more complicated, less glamorous reality. This awareness helps us navigate the world with a sharper sense of discernment—questioning what we see, understanding that every story has layers, and resisting the urge to be swept away by superficial allure. But this does not mean we should become bitterly cynical. Instead, we can cultivate a healthy scepticism, one that keeps us grounded without robbing us of hope or wonder. It’s about finding that elusive balance between being clear-eyed and staying open-hearted.

To conduct ourselves wisely, we need to appreciate both the beauty and the flaws in what we observe. We can admire the sparkle from a distance, knowing that it is not the full picture, and still find value in the reality beneath. Accepting imperfection allows us to engage with the world authentically, without falling for false promises or feeling disillusioned when the truth emerges. It means embracing complexity—seeing both the good and the bad, and finding meaning not in perfection, but in the imperfect, unvarnished truth that lies beneath the shine.

(Sunday Nation, 27 October 2024)

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